No Time… like Now

I mentioned in my first post that I quit my job. I figure I should probably give a little more insight on why and dish my plan, cause you know I got plans. Dale is playing chess across from me right now and as I looked over at him my heart just flooded with warm. Mushy! Don’t worry I am not going to pretend I feel that way all the time because there are definitely those times I look at him and want to cut his throat out. Dale is not a jerk, he is not mean, and he has loved me better than any man before him. I married Dale because he is smart, interesting, different, an “odd bird” I called him yesterday.  He was also the first man I dated who was established, on his own, and looking for me to be a part of HIS already very beautiful life, instead of just trying to fit into mine. He was living in STL and I was in Jersey when we reconnected via Facebook messenger. I had just ended a 2 and a half-ish year relationship with a live in boyfriend who, I should note was awesome just not “the one.” Enter Dale…funny and smart, and so SO kind, he always knew what to say to impress me. He would talk to me about things I didn’t know a thing about like, Baroque Architecture and his favorite old Black and White movies (odd bird). Other than the Beatles I pretty much thought his music choice was the worst. The songs he would play sounded like a background music in a video game, but the video system was the original Nintendo and you had to blow in the disk because the screen was frozen repeating the same ping pang wommpppp noise over and over again, it was…different. Our first Christmas “dating” he sent me a piece of art he made in a frame, that I still have to this day and will never ever get rid of. He would read to me over the phone any old boring article or book he could find because I LOVE his voice and it would calm me to sleep. I fell in love with him, all of those things, and so much more.

dale christmas pic
Christmas Art 2010

Somehow, after dating for a few months I sold an entire household of things I had acquired in my 30 years on this earth, packed up my favorites in my Nissan Altima and drove across the country with my little Brother Billy in tow to help me steer towards my new life with this guy.  Now that I look back on that move it seems insane to have left my family, my friends, my job, and start fresh in a totally foreign place with my then 6 year old daughter by my side. I was alone and afraid! JK, I was not afraid at all actually, but quite the opposite… I was happy and sure, more confident about this decision than any other I had made because I knew it was right, and it was time to go chase new. When I got to STL a whole other thing happened and my feelings may have shifted a teeny bit. I went from super confident 1000% sure to kind of a wreck with a tear streaked face, when in the first 30 days Dale decided it was the right time to quit his job to start a new career and move to Dallas, TX. WTF, right?! I just moved my whole life to you and now everything is changing again! How dare you change when I’m changing! I definitely did not sign up for Texas, I definitely did not sign up for this at all yet we just. kept. going. We did not slow down, we did not quit, forward and together was the name of our street and it was a one way. Things moved fast those next couple of weeks. We sold Dales BMW, picked an apartment based on photos and online reviews alone, I quit my job, AND found out we were expecting our first son Ryan. Whew. What a time to be alive! Despite all of the changes and challenges, Dale and I knew that in order to make it work we needed to be there to lift each other up, to love laugh and cry as one unit, as the “power couple” we have decided to be.

So, here we are six years and a few months in and we are so freaking powerful. For real though…in those 6 we managed to relocate back to NJ, get our complete squad of 5 in place by birthing Alanas (13) brothers, Ryan (5) and Andrew (3), bought our first home, took on new careers, and got Dale his BMW back. We have had great success because we truly work our asses off day and night, seven days a week, 365. Working this hard was hard, our schedules sucked and we all were feeling the frustration of the grind. Dale works a pretty typical M-F 9-6ish schedule and I am the retail queen…late nights, holidays and weekends.  We we were losing too much time and missing out on the togetherness we had signed up for, the togetherness that we wanted so badly, and it was time to take it back. The time was NOW. So I quit! I quit my job that paid me enough to have a sick wardrobe, two brand new cars, a home of our own, yearly vacations and pretty much anything we could ever want, because there is absolutely NOTHING I want more than more time with our squad. So as I sit here reflecting on the decision, of course feeling 1000% confident and sure I look again at Dale, and I know that through this next round of challenges and changes  and tear streaked faces we will be just fine because we are doing it together, on our own time.

Goal: Maintain our lifestyle, my sick wardrobe, and obtain a better quality of life by investing more time into my family and making a home

Plan: Thrift, Posh, Thrift, Posh…Earn, Style, Posh, Style, Thrift,Earn. Nope, that is not a new catchy rap song, it’s the actions behind the plan

Brand: mINdforSTYLE is a style consulting company for your life with a focus on the four pillars I call “the four F’s” furnishings, fashion, function, and family.  Let’s organize your closet, dress you for an event, show you how to style your current wardrobe, decorate a room or your entire house with new or existing furnishings

mINdforSTYLE Mission: Inspiring you to beautify your life and tackle your dreams while being resourceful within your own budget

So what do you think? What in your life needs styling?

Christmas 2016
“Power Couple” Sarah and Dale Dempsey – Christmas 2016

Shoes for Sarah

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

If there is one thing I believe to always hold true when it comes to fashion is that a shoe can make or break an outfit. I also believe that you can not see the full potential of an outfit until you put on your shoes. Throughout my retail career I watch this happen so many times. Women emerge from the fitting room in a stunning little black dress that fits her like a glove only to have wool socks bunched up to her ankles… “I’m not sure its right. Its just not exactly….” Yes, yes, you should really take off those socks, I say. She laughs. No, really, TAKE OFF THE SOCKS…here, put on this strappy little shoe. I wait outside telling her “my story” about how when I get dressed every day I don’t even bother to look at myself in the mirror until I put on my shoes, I see her step out of the fitting room now a new woman. With total confidence and a huge smile she twirls around and shouts ITS PERFECT!

It took me a few years to figure this out, but once I did it was a lesson that stuck with me forever, and undoubtedly started my shoe obsession. Actually, when I REALLY think back, I blame my mother (sorry, Mom), as she introduced me to my favorite childhood book “Shoes for Angela.”  Do you know it? It’s a childrens book from the 60’s about a girl who is middle school aged or so and only owns two pairs of shoes “one pair was brown, for school. One pair was black, for good.” Womp Womp…Angela was bored, she might as well have been the women in the wool socks, and she longed for so much more diversity, color, and style, can I get an Amen? With her Birthday soon approaching, Angela wrote to her army of an extended family with one request: shoes. Birthday comes and BOOM…Angela got bombarded with boxes upon boxes of shoes for all occasions to go with all kinds of outfits. Of course Angelas room was a hot mess, she grew out of the shoes quicker than her mother could say told you so, AND THEN was forced to donate them to the PTA rummage sale. Worst part was she only made out with two new pairs that fit…”one brown for school, and one black for good,” poor girl. Needless to say I never cared that my closet is in a constant state of despair because I, like Angela really really like shoes. If you have not read it or have a little girl, it really is a sweet book with good lesson that although we always want more, we usually already have enough. This week, I quit my job. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make as that job brings in a little less than half of our families income. I knew it was time and I took the jump because I am ready to take on the challenge of doing more with less. I am ready to teach my kids to be kind and resourceful humans. I am ready to reinvest my time, energy and passion into the things in life that are most important to me, the things that I LOVE.

family, fashion, furnishing, and functions – the four F’s of mInd4style! Enjoy!

shoes for angela